Parenting Humor

12 FUNNY MOM SHIRTS TO WEAR TO THE LIVING ROOM TODAY

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COVID has given a lot of people a glimpse into the fuckery that is stay-at-home/work-at-home mom life. One of the hallmarks of SAHM life is deciding what t-shirt you’re gonna wear to the living room each day. Granted, most days it’s the same one.

I like a little “flair” to my tees. It makes me feel more like me and less like Mommeeeeeeeeee!

One of my favorite new shirt brands is Boredwalk. They’ve got something dark, quirky, and hysterical to perfectly tell people how your day is going as a mom without you actually having to tell people how your day is going as a mom. Because conversation, ew.

Here are 12 funny mom shirts that pair well with motherhood and the not so funny moments we find ourselves in that you can wear to the living room today.

Maybe tomorrow, Satan

“Mommy, can you play on the floor with me?”

90% of my day as a mom is coming up with clever diversion tactics so I don’t have to sit on the floor with my vagina vandals. Because being in your 30’s means even sitting hurts.

Don’t touch me

When being touched-out doesn’t even begin to describe what feels to be my kids actively trying to climb back up in my uterus. Yes, I know I’ll miss this someday, but right now I feel like my body is gonna split in half. Again.

No, thanks

My mental response to “Watch this!” 80% of the time. Don’t judge me, Janet, you know you’re not impressed by your kid’s spin-kick.

Fine, thanks

When anyone asks how I’m doing.

Everything is trash

When you finally reach that level with a mom friend where you don’t even bother cleaning up before they come over or wearing a bra.

Hard pass

9am me looking through the to-do lists and goals that 1am me made while humming the balls of mom guilt. It’s easy to come up with grand plans when everyone is asleep and quiet, then you wake up and realize your family still lives here.

I’m not for everyone

The day my kid tells me I’m the “worst mom ever.” Which should be any day now since COVID times have my patience as thin as my postpartum mom hair.

No one asked you

When your kid asks why you wear the same shirt everyday and you’re wearing the perfect comeback.

Personal space

Oh, look, it’s fucking non-existent.

Please go away

Lord knows I love these womb wreckers more than life itself but engaging in deep eye contact while I’m just trying to shit was not outlined in any of the parenting blog posts I read before having kids.

First of all, no. Second of all, no

Am I the perfect chore-chart filling, cookie-baking, on-the-floor playing mother that I always thought I’d be? No. But am I cooking healthy meals, keeping the house spotless, and entertaining my children with educational activities? Also no.

I’m already tired tomorrow

Being a mom means you’re tired to your bones and in a way that sleep can’t cure. Caffeine only keeps my corpse animated long enough until bedtime – where I stay up until 2am overthinking for everyone and spinning my nipple tassels for my BFF Mom Guilt.

Which one of these funny mom shirts was your favorite, and what mom problem would you pair them with?

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