Today in “What the Buffalo Bill Shit is That!?” news, a Japanese retailer Shuhei Okawara has made it possible to wear someone else’s face on your face, much to the delight of serial killers everywhere. These weird face masks are ones you probably won’t want to buy.

While these masks won’t protect you from Covid, they will protect you from those creepy 1am bedside visits from your kids. Just wear one of these 3D hyper-realistic face masks to bed. One slow turn of the head when your kid asks for a glass of water and they’ll stop that shit ASAP. And be traumatized for life. Probably. But, hey – no more water fetching for Timmy at night like a goddamn Pilgrim, so *hand weighing motion*.

These weird face masks were 3D printed by an artisan in collaboration with Okawara using his own face, as well as those of a few hand-chosen models, and will be up for sale early next year at Okawara’s shop Kamenya Omote.

So if you’ve got $950 (98,000 yen) and a penchant for weird art (or, you know, collecting “trophies” from your victims) this is your time to shine!

Okawara has plans to acquire more human faces in the future (to use for 3D printing of even more masks for variety). If you needed one, here’s your daily reminder to rub the lotion on your skin!